8:54 AM – Wednesday, July 19. 2017 – And I am all over the place today. I slept like shit. At 2:38 AM I was packing a bowl into the bong and I took a Norco because my cramps are so insanely painful this month. Today I am so bloated – and all I want is rough, savage sex and chocolate – ” Sex and Candy”. Yup, that pretty much sums it up.
It has been a gloomy and rainy week. My office at work has one side of it with floor to ceiling windows and I stare at the gloomy sky all day. Watching the clouds fade the sunshine in and out. I have all the feels and want nothing more than to be coddled by my girlfriend. Laying on the couch wrapped up in her while she rubs my tummy and soothes my cramps. I am one needy ass bitch this morning, fuuuuuck.
I am at a loss for words today. My thoughts are being processed too quickly. I am overwhelmed by absolutely nothing and yet everything all at the same time. I imagine that this is what it kind of feels like when you have ADD/ADHD. I haven’t seen my girlfriend, let’s call her J, in over 24 hours. You know the joke is that it’s like 7 years in lesbian time. Whatever though, it is what it is.
Nothing in life is a guarantee and I knew what dating a married woman would potentially be like, especially if she has kids.
Why would I want to date someone who themselves is not attached? I am not fond of an uneven playing field. I want this to work out but saying that is like saying I want my cake and I also want to eat it. How dare I?
Fun Fact # 2: I do as I please. Very few things in this life can actually control me. I am open an honest about that very fact.
It has taken me an almost 6 hour work day to type this, and I’ve almost had nothing really interesting to say. Maybe tomorrow will be better and I’ll have tons to say.
Hasta manana mi gente!
XOXO – always offensively yours- D