What it is?


What it is Wednesday… Can we fucking believe there is 8 days until Thanksgiving, 40 days until Christmas Day, and 47 days until 2018 is official. Wow! Blown away! I am always blow away by time. How it passes and things are just ever evolving and changing and had someone told me 11 months ago that I’d be where I am today, I would have not believed it.

5 + years of being completely faithful, 2 years practically alone and masturbating for a fucking hobby, fast-forward to 2017 –  1 psycho ass girlfriend, 1 fuckboy one-night stand and 1 guy I want to love on for the rest of my life and he has no clue later… here we are. Minding my business, staying in my lane. Yes, I need to make improvements, don’t we all though.

On 8/29/2017, I rewired my life, completely shook it up, changed almost everything about it. I literally have torn myself down for the purpose of rebuilding. Rebuilding it to be better in every aspect. Patience. There will be good days, and even really fucking great days too. But there will definitely be some bad days too, you just have to remember, it ain’t a bad life, just a lil bit of a bump in the road, keep pushing forward bish.



I did not finish writing yesterday, I still have been all over the place. I am frazzled as fuck and I have a feeling it’s in the air. Mercury goes into retrograde on 12/3/17 and I wonder if that has something to do with it, or lack of dick. Who knows? Again, I am hella open minded but I am not a free spirit with my time, energies and efforts. I can’t just go out and find a random dick to fuck, it ain’t me. But I am dying, I have not had sex since 10/25/17! My daily jogs and work outs do not  help my situation. After a work out I am exhausted and stress free and horny as fuck and I get no fucking release, despite me asking, “Do you have energy for me?” And I get the response “I am exhausted.”


This is where I am so done. I do live fairly close to The Todd, I got paid this week, zero fucks and no damn shame. You can be easily replaced. Just make sure you step your game up because once I take it there, you’re cut off and you won’t even be able to just smoke with me.  Yes it’s like that! These aren’t times that I need you to be a reserved gentleman, I need you to be a fucking dog mmmkay.  Short of looking you in the face and telling you “FUCK ME PLEASE” – I honestly do not know what to do anymore. The fucking frustration is too much for me right now. Legit.

Plans for the day:

Leaving work at about 3pm, will get home about 3:45pm and will clean and do laundry and while laundry is going, I will get on the treadmill and work up a sweat. Shower and get ready for a business meeting at 6pm and then afterwards, I have some weed to go pick up. Hopefully, this man will call me for some pussy.

Yeah, I am hella frustrated today. So I’m out.


XOXO – Always offensively yours,   D.